3 Lessons that Med School taught me about achieving good communication

My dearest readers,

It is an unequivocal fact of life that our human interactions on a day-to-day basis add fulfillment, insight, meaning and interest to our existence as human beings. As social beings, much of what we draw from our experiences of life comes from our everyday exchanges with those around us, many of which involve some type of communication with others.

I feel beyond blessed by the degree to which my Medical School training has thus far put me in close proximity, all at once, with the beauty, resilience, vulnerability, vibrancy and complexity of human life; when you work with people who are battling sickness you are interacting with people in one of their most vulnerable states and are entrusted with their life stories. Communication is beyond key in this type of unique interaction; not only is it important to grasp the essence of a patient’s history of presenting illness but also it is beyond essential that one truly understands an individual’s fears, concerns and goals of care.

Good communication is an asset in many aspects of life, whether it be at work or in our personal relationships with friends, family and loved ones. Here are 3 lessons that Medical School has taught me about achieving good communication; lessons that extend far beyond the medical world!

1. Be comfortable with silence.

We often find ourselves entrapped in a hectic lifestyle where we are constantly on the go, filling each and every moment with a task and often filling every silence with words, even if these words may be in essence “empty” in meaning and value. Don’t get me wrong…one cannot properly enjoy a cocktail party without some small talk and discussing the weather can be the perfect ice breaker with a stranger at the bus stop. It is however important to also acknowledge the strength that can evolve from being comfortable with silence sometimes. Sometimes silence means being patient; it may be exactly what is required to allow the other person to gather their thoughts and express themselves. Sometimes during a difficult situation or when you are consoling someone, words may not be the best solution; a simple hand on the other persons shoulder and offering of a tissue may be the therapeutic type of communication that is needed. Sometimes silence allows you to reflect on your own place in a given conversation; silence can allow for being mindful of the body language and non-verbal cues that are characterizing a given exchange. Silence in and of itself has the capacity to carry great strength as a tool in achieving good communication.

2. Learn to really listen.

Listening, really and truly listening, can make all the difference when it comes to achieving good communication. Actively listening is very different from the act of passively “hearing” during a conversation. Actively listening involves allowing the other person to finish their thoughts and trying not to plan out a script in your mind of what you hope to say next in the meantime.  Really listening to someone entails being mindful of the nuances of what is being said; what is the person really trying to convey? Truly listening means taking what is being said not only at face value but attempting to read in between the lines to develop a deeper understanding of the matter at hand; what is the person’s body language trying to communicate and how is what is being said affected by the person’s past life experiences. When true listening takes place, the person who we are exchanging words and ideas with feels validated and valued, allowing them to open up to us not only in the present moment but also in the future.

3. Everyone has a story.

If there is one important thing about human interactions that I have come to truly appreciate and love through medicine is the fact that each and every person that you come across has a story. Each and every one of us is a compilation of our past life experiences, our present passions and our future aspirations. Next time you engage anyone in conversation, whether it be on the plan or in the board room, keep in mind that you are talking to a unique individual who has an equally unique story to tell. Realizing this simple fact adds special meaning to communication with others; it allows us to appreciate communication as a true gift that we have the privilege to engage in every single day. Seeing communication as beautiful allows one to treasure it and thus practice it in the best possible way.

I originally wrote this post for my biweekly column on Stilettos on the Glass Ceiling – see the original article at http://stilettosontheglassceiling.com/2014/09/3-lessons-med-school-taught-me-about-achieving-good-communication-by-maria-psihogios.html

Global Involvement – Nurturing Resilience

This past weekend I had the privilege and pleasure of attending the 3^rd annual Action Global Health Network Conference in Ottawa; an insight and thought-provoking event bringing students together from various faculties to explore this year’s theme of “Global Development and Sustainability: Are we making an impact?”.

The workshops, keynote addresses, discussions and networking sessions were all extremely inspiring and without a doubt prompted members of the audience to reflect on notions such as global citizenship, global health, volunteerism and sustainable development; allowing such abstract concepts to become more tangible through dynamic discussion and the presentation of novel perspectives and ideas by the speakers.

For the purpose of this piece I am choosing to focus on one particular perspective that was presented at the conference which had a great impact on me. One that I feel lends itself well to the over-arching theme of emotional wellness that I do my best to project through positively profession-elle…

I will start off by saying that now, more than ever, there is an evolving sense of connectedness between people from all over the world in the context of a growing and dynamic global community. You can travel to remote countries within mere hours via plane, you can brew coffee in the comfort of your own home using roasted coffee beans from the deepest parts of the Amazon, you can skype with a friend in real time from over-seas and you can read about breaking news from across the world in a blink of the eye. Technological advances in transportation and communication, amongst numerous other fields, have allowed people to connect it ways that were unimaginable to our predecessors….and yet, is the type of interconnectedness that we are seeing evolve always feeding and nurturing our basic social needs as human beings in a healthy manner?

Many of you may be thinking of doing some sort of volunteering or internship abroad at some point in your academic or professional careers.  In doing so, it is important that we take on the role of a global citizen, which in and of itself can carry many meanings, with the most responsibility and sensitivity possible. It is important that, upon embarking on any global initiative, we truly reflect on the type of impact that will come about from the work we will be doing.  How might we be changing the community in which we are working?  What possible impacts will we have on the culture of the area? Are these impacts all positive or might there be a negative aspect as well? Is what we are working towards sustainable? Are we empowering the people we are working with? Are we being cognizant of the culture in which we find ourselves? There are no right or wrong answers to these questions but they are indeed important for self-reflection when embarking on global volunteerism or internship initiatives!

The particular perspective that I wanted to highlight in this post is, in a way, a means by which one may attempt to address the element of sustainability in the context of global development work. The perspective was presented by one of the keynote speakers, Dr. Rachel Thibault, an occupational therapist whose work has transcended international borders through her work with underprivileged populations on a global stage.

Among the many elements that come to mind when thinking of global health and development, such as nutrition, sanitation, shelter, access to medical care and medical supplies, Dr. Thibault drew the audience’s attention to the idea that helping to create a sustainable impact, in the context of global health work, may in fact rest in setting populations up with opportunities that foster resilience. This idea really resonated with me!

Dr.Thibault spoke of eudaimonic activities; activities that have been shown to allow for resilience through the practice of centering (activities that free one of negative and anxious energy to bring one back into focus), contemplation (such a prayer, meditation and meaningful thinking in solitude), creation (creating beautiful things), contribution (feeding a need for helping and connecting with others) and connectedness. 

She beautifully presented us with the notion of promoting eudaimonic activities as a way of offering populations the opportunity to foster more resilience in their communities, which is a very sustainable way of making an impact; in her words we should try to “create conditions conducive to the practice of intentional activities that will improve the social fabric.” I think this is a very insightful and novel perspective to consider when embarking on any type of international work and I encourage you all to consider it when the time comes!

To finish, I want to bring the idea closer to home; we can practice eudaimonic activities in our very own lives!  Dr. Thibault touched upon the presence of “unrestrained use of technology” in our world; are we really cultivating a healthy sense of human inter- connectedness in our own lives or has this social aspect of being been hampered by technology today? Definitely food for thought…

But what if you fly? – The right type of “what if’s”

Good morning my dearest readers,

Life is full of “what if’s”; an inevitable consequence of all the unknowns and uncertainties that we encounter each and every day of our lives. We never truly know what the next moment, day or even year holds. This notion both presents us with endless potential and possibilities for the future but can also be daunting and even frustrating at times. The future can, to a certain extent, be impacted by the choices we make and actions we take in the present…the control we have over the future however is in a way equally limited by all the unknown variables, parameters and unexpected turns of life.

Despite having to come to terms with the inevitable presence of uncertainty, unknowns and essentially “what if’s” of life, we do have the power to dictate the way we handle this unpredictability.

We are all too guilty of quickly reverting to thinking of the worst possible outcome…”what if I fail?”…”what if I’m wrong?”…”what if I lose?”…”what if I fall?”. Perhaps it feels safer to think this way; after all, if we set ourselves up for lower expectations then we can never in fact be utterly disappointed. Is it simply a “glass half full vs. half empty” sort of matter or does it remind us of our vulnerable side in a world full of chances to be taken with unknown results and conclusions? I believe it is a bit of both and so much more. 

What if instead we were to funnel all this unpredictability towards a focus on all the beautiful and exciting potential that the future has to hold? What if we began each chance that we take with thoughts such as “what if I succeed?”…”what if this works?”…”what if I love this?”…”what if I fly?”.

If we really think about it, every single chance we take carries a certain level of uncertainty. If you choose to take the chance and see where it takes you then you owe it to yourself to expect the best possible outcomes. Not everything we do in life will turn out as expected but there is no harm in setting off on a journey, adventure or dream with positive and high expectations.

The following words by Erin Hanson inspired this post …the juxtaposition of failure in “what if I fall?” with the potential for soaring to great heights with “what if you fly?” is beautiful, brilliant and so simply, yet eloquently, put. 

My dearest readers, think of the amazing potential you have within yourselves. Do not sabotage that strength by letting fear stop you from taking a chance on life. Where there is potential to fail there is potential to succeed. Where there is potential to not like something there is potential to absolutely fall in love with it. Where there is potential to “fall” there is this amazing and beautiful potential to not only fly but “soar”. 

There is freedom waiting for you,
On the breezes of the sky,
And you ask “What if I fall?”
Oh but my darling,
What if you fly?”

~Erin Hanson